Moonless Night
by Emmelie Rosaten
Summary: Edward can no longer stay away from Bella.... what happens when he returns to Forks to get her back... during new moon, before cliff diving... no jacob my first FanFic.. be nice
1. Chapter 1 In the begining

_**Disclamer:**_

_**"I OWN TWILIGHT AND ALL ASSOCIATED CHARACTERS AND STORIES!!!" hahahaha **_

_**"Hey don't steal my muli-million dollar idea Emmelie" (Stephenie Meyer)  
**_

_**"Ok ok sorry Stephanie, you own Twilight but at least can i keep Edward and Emmett?? "**_

_** "NO!!!" (SM)**_

_**"Why not.... you can have all the other characters...." **_

_**"They are mine and you can't keep them... you can borrow them for this little FanFic of yours but you can ONLY borrow them!!" (SM)**_

_**"AWW but...."**_

_**"No buts about it Em..." (SM)"**_

_**"Oh ok ok sorry, i won't keep them then but i may need to borrow them for a extended peroid of time"**_

_**"Hmmpf...... as long as you dont claim to own my ideas then you can BORROW them....." (SM)**_

**ok we will try this disclamer thing again..... DISCLAMER: I Don't own anything TWILIGHT related except for my book copys.. lol all the characters are Stephenies' and she is graciously letting me borrow them... thanks again Steph**

* * *

**MOONLESS NIGHT (CHAPTER 1)**

I have been wandering around aimlessly for what seems like decades to my frozen lifeless heart, although I must remember that I have forced this torture on myself for the greater good.... for my one and only, my true love Bella.

The thought of her; the colour of her cheeks when she blushed that delicate pink.. tore a hole in my eternally cold frozen heart, I may have not had a heartbeat for many many decades now but this pain I am feeling is more like a hollow as if a part of me is missing it is debilitating and inescapable.. I cannot deny my urge to see her any longer.." ill just check on her" I tell myself, I am alone in this vast wilderness... the only place I can be allowed to let this undeniable ache in my entire being have the fore, away from my family, away from Jaspers' peculiar talent for controlling the atmosphere around him, controlling my feelings, well depression really, away from Esmes' worry, Carlisles' never ending patience and my brothers and sisters constant thoughts of pity and worry.

I was stupid to think that I could stay away from her, the only thing that kept me from returning for her sooner was the thought that she deserved a normal life a human life.. away from the clandestine world of myths and mayhem .. (namely vampires) that lived in this inconsequential town of Forks, Washington..

How foolish I have been to believe that she came to this town.. on a whim and that she was not being guided by a higher power, more so guiding her destiny, she is mine, she is my purpose for being in this life, she is my fate, my one true other half..I have not been able to call my existence a life since I walked away from Bella just on 9 months ago, after that fateful night of her 18th birthday.. i need my life back. the reason for my forsaken existence.. BELLA...

**(later that night)**

I could not let her catch me here, watching her sleep.. like some sick peverted peeping tom...her scent swirled around in my head, the perfume coming off her skin, intoxicating, more so than what my memory could do her justice,

"how could i do this to myself.. to my Bella" I think as I sit in her bedroom on the rocking chair in the corner, watching her sleep... I can no longer torment myself with this, the knowledge that the pull that she has for me is even stronger than I ever remember...

Her scent is maddening, just the proximity of her in her small bedroom sitting here watching her sleep it has my mouth flooded with venom and my muscles coiled to spring at a moments notice..

But there was one major difference this time around, this time I didn't have the almost insatiable urge to taste her sweet blood beneath the thin translucent membrane holding her together..

Don't get me wrong.. she still smelt unbelievable that much was obvious.. unless somehow her scent had somehow intensified beyond reason.. it seemed that my reaction had changed.. my throat still burned with desire but not in a way that had me wanting to sink my razor sharp teeth into her neck where her pulse throbbed strongest....

she was curled up into a tight ball.. hugging herself as if her arms were the only thing that was holding her together.. how it pained me to see her in obvious distress even whilst she was unconscious.. sleeping...

I have made the decision that I will follow her for a few days to see if the distress that is blatantly obvious during her sleeping.. manifests itself during the day.. whether she is reasonably happy.. but the question still remains.. " will I be able to leave again.. if she has, as I intended, moved on?" that she has in fact been able to reassemble her life to some sort of normal.. a normal life where vampires weren't a part of it and her life wasn't marred by constant danger...

"She looks a mess," I thought she seems to have aged beyond her years, her skin is excruciatingly pale.. more so than it was previously, her face drawn, as if a permanent frown was painted there in place of her radiant smile..

Dark circles tormented me from under her eyes.. if her scent and heartbeat had not given her away I would almost be certain that _she was a vampire_ I smiled wryly to myself at this dark thought...

I now know that leaving her was the biggest mistake, my worst mistake by far in my entire life, no existence... it seems that she needs me in her life, I know that I am not strong enough to leave again..

I know that Alice... my sister forsaw many many months ago even before Bella knew my secret, that I would never be strong enough to stay away from her..and just like the first time that I attempted this exact feat...

I am still unable to leave her.. to stay away as I should I have only been trying to protect her from this fate and trying to prevent myself from putting her in constant danger from my proximity alone, what happened on that fateful evening back in September was exactly the thing that I feared most.. Bella being in danger merely from what we are .. but it seems that she is my destiny.. as i am hers

I continued to follow Bella for the next few days, sticking to the shadows watching her ever so closely through the minds of her fellow classmates, Jessica I noted had become outwardly vicious towards Bella..

I wanted nothing more than to have Bella safe in my arms, and to be able to protect her from that poisonous girls words... one thing that was blatently obvious to anyone is that Bella was depressed, severely, and you didn't need a medical degree to see that..

Charlie, her father was so worried about her... and it looked to me like she was only holding on to what she had for Charlies' sake... watching Bella drag herself through the tedium of school and home life with no zest, no enthusiasm was excruciating.. Seeing Bella this way forced sheer agony to course through my dry burnt out veins... even more painful then when I left her in the woods on that black afternoon so many months ago.

If I had come back to find that she had indeed done as I had feared and taken her life from this world.. then as I had told her on her birthday in her lounge room that I would find a way to leave this world too and I would take what ever was waiting for me in hell as that is surely where I would go...I could not live in a world where she did not exist

I remember my exact words from that afternoon with Bella watching Romeo and Juliet...

***flashback***

"Well I wasn't going to live without you , but I wasn't sure how to do it --- I knew that Emmett and Jasper would NEVER help... so I was thinking about going to Italy and doing something to provoke the Volturi" i went on to explain who and what the Volturi are...

"Anyway you don't irritate the Volturi, not unless you want to die---- or whatever it is that we do."

"You must never, never think of anything like that again!! No matter what might happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!" Bella exclaimed

"I'll never put you in danger again, so its a moot point."

"Put me in danger!? I thought that we had established that all this bad luck is my fault?" i could see Bella getting angrier by the second "How dare you even think like that?" Bella was clearly furious

"What would you do if the situation was reversed?"

"That's not the same thing." Bella sighed calming down

"What if something did happen to you? would you want me to go and off myself?" Bella hit her mark and she knew it

"I guess that i see your point.... a little," i admitted with a resigned expression "But what would I do without you?"

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence" _complicated my existence? she is the reason for my existence _i thought.....

***end flashback***


	2. Chapter 2 the reckoning

I can no longer just observe her.. i need to talk to her, hold her.. make her mine all over again.

I want her in every way that a man could want the love of his life. I have no idea how my reappearing in her life will go.. will she reject me? will she be angry with me?? will she throw accusations my way??

My ice cold heart would tear in two if this were the case.. I will beg and grovel for all of eternity if it meant that I could have her in my life again.. but _now is the time for me to do this_ i think as i scale the wall to her second storey window entering the house silently.. Charlie is away fishing so if i am rejected with anger and accusations thrown my way at least I will be able to leave without a scene with him too.. Bella is in the bathroom going through her daily routine of showering and getting ready for more tedium of life... I sit in the rocking chair in the corner of her room and I can hear the shower being turned off and I know now that it is not much longer til I have my moment of reckoning ...

Bella walked into her room, her hair still wet from her shower..... again her scent hit me like a battering ram violent and full of potency

she let out a gasp of shock and then she crumpled toward the floor sobbing... I caught her before she hit the ground lying her down on her bed

As I cradled Bella in my arms soothing her heartbreaking sobs I whispered "Im here Bella I am never leaving you again" abruptly she sat upright,pushing me away.....

I was completely stunned, depair and rejection coursed through my body to my very core, if I had a heartbeat im sure that it would be thundering in my chest at a million miles a minute, my heart was breaking all over again.

"Don't say that!" she mumbled her voice still thick with tears,

"I mean it Bella, I will NEVER hurt you like that again" how could she doubt my sincerity?

" What about the next month, or the month after that when Jasper takes another snap at me " I cringed at the memory

"What about when you remember all the reasons that you left in the first place, its not like you didn't think your first decision through thoroughly back then!! " she slumped back against her bed, her words seeming to drain her, she hugged her legs to her chest, waiting, tensed for my response

"Bella I..... I could not ever impose such a thing on either of us again, it would be unendurable, I am not strong enough for that, what I want, what is right and what is moral mean little to me now, all I want is YOU, you are my sun, my moon and you are my soul I could not live another moment without you in my existence.."

With that a crushed my lips to Bellas' savouring her warmth and tasting her scent on my tongue... How I could have not let myself have this pleasure I will never understand, but all too soon I had to pull away.. she needed to breathe...

As i held Bella to my stone cold chest it was as if my long dormant heart would begin beating once again.. my chest swelled with sheer happiness, hours passed as we talked everything through.. how she didn't understand that I couldn't function without her in my life, but finally I was able to convince her of my intentions and my sheer love for her my unbelievably fragile love..

"_She still wanted me just as I wanted her_" I thought, though I would have to admit that it did take many many hours of talking on my part to convince her that I loved her more now than ever before and that the reason that I left in the first place was to give her a chance at a proper human life, one that was not shadowed by danger, danger that myself and my family put her in just by our proximity alone...

I now know that there is only one option that I found possibly acceptable.. I would stay with Bella for the duration of her human life.. 70 maybe 80 years... that time is very short to an immortal.... as long as she craved my presence in her life I would never leave her again like I did it was the biggest mistake that I have ever made in my very long existance..

If some day she decided that she had outgrew me and she wanted more than I was able to offer her then I would let her go. In the sense that I would never let her know how much it hurt me to do it..

I refused to give into her favored option, the future that Alice had saw for Bella, one that changed her, one that made her one of us.. a Vampire.. My selfish side exulted at the very idea of changing her, making her immortal, that side of me wanted it more than anything in this world combined, for her to be eternally at my side never to be let go of again, I refused to take her soul like that, didn't she deserve better than to have a vampire fall in love with her?.. I know that she thinks that she has done well for herself with who she has fallen in love with.... I know that she believes that I have a soul but I can't be so sure, I couldn't gamble with her chance at an afterlife, just so I could never lose her..

We had made our way down to the living room and we were sitting there embracing as a was vaguely away of a car arriving in the driveway.

"Bella, should your father know i am here?" i asked, he would be here very shortly, he was just outside the door now

she hesitated....."um........I'm not sure...."

oh well it was too late now, Chief Swan walked through the door.. as Charlie surveyed the scene in front of him, Bella sitting on the love seat with me next to her, his face began to turn red and he began to shake, his face began turning a peculiar shade of purple, breathe charlie breathe i thought, im sure that i saw his hand twitch towards his gun in his holster

" Ah, Dad?" Bella began,

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN COME BACK INTO THIS HOUSE AGAIN? BACK INTO ISABELLAS' LIFE, AFTER YOU LEFT THIS TOWN WITHOUT A PHONE CALL OR EVEN A BACKWARDS GLANCE!! HOW DARE YOU! SHE WAS DISTRAUGHT WHEN YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY UP AND LEFT, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE HER COMMITTED, SHE WOULDN'T EAT OR DRINK FOR WEEKS IT WAS AS IF YOU HAD SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF HER SUCKED AWAY HER VERY ESSENCE, AND NOW YOU THINK YOU CAN WALTZ BACK IN HERE AS IF THE LAST 9 MONTHS DIDN'T HAPPEN?"

I had never heard charlie make such a long speech before, although he didnt realise he hit his mark  
"Dad, there....." Charlie cut Bella off mid-sentence,

" Bella, i dont want to hear it, his leaving almost destroyed you"

"charlie, i know what we did was unacceptable.." i paused looking for the right words,

"I don't want to hear it, i want you out of my house NOW!!! i don't want to see your face around here EVER AGAIN" Charlie thundered

I got up and headed for the door....................


End file.
